notfaking_it | (no subject)

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delta

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Lily wasn't sure what the time was.

She knew she'd seen Sawyer, gone home, showered, thought about calling someone and in the end decided against it. She remembered leaving the apartment, thinking again about stopping at Nina's, then that she had walked to a nearby bar instead. She remembered buying her first drink, and receiving the few drinks that came after, but she couldn't put faces to the men who'd bought them for her.

They didn't matter. No one mattered.

This was why she never stayed in one place for too long. This was the reason she kept moving, finding a new job, a new city. This was why she kept her relationships light and easy, because then someone came along and got under her skin -- Nina, Eden, Sawyer, Delta -- and that could be okay. That wasn't the problem. It was when she stopped having control. It was when they became someone she needed that it was a problem. She wasn't used to needing anything or anyone, she was used to being the one in charge.

Somehow, after several drinks, that seemed like something she needed to explain to someone. To Delta, maybe, because he'd done the same thing Sawyer had and she wanted to know if he was going to continue following his example.

Eleanor was probably asleep. She realized that as she pressed the buzzer, then braced herself against the wall, waiting for Delta to answer.

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She tried to help him where she could, unhooking her bra, the button on her jeans, but mostly she was caught up in his touch, in the feel of his mouth on hers and his skin under her wandering fingers. He was here with her, no one else, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd been sure of that, the last time she'd known it with certainty.

"Delta," she breathed against his lips, trying to get him completely undressed, wanting to get to his skin, to everything.

He wasn't sure how or when he got the rest of his clothes off. What he was aware of, without any real transition, was lying tangled up with her, nothing at all left between their skins, his mouth making its way down the column of her throat. She still felt delicate under him, her dancer's body, but because of that it was also so strong, and he loved the way the two fit together.

In some ways - maybe in that way - they were alike. He could be weak. Had the freedom to be so, now.

"Is this helping?" He smiled against her collarbone, one hand already sliding down her belly to nestle between her thighs.

Lily's breath caught before she could answer, her body moving toward his hand, back arched up off the bed briefly. Then she laughed, her lips curving as she turned her head, her cheek pressed against a pillow and she managed a nod. "It's helping," she said, then realized that wasn't entirely what it was. His hands, his body, his mouth, it wasn't just about sex, it was that they were all his.

"You're helping," she corrected, her fingers pushing into his hair.

"Good," he murmured, and slipped two fingers into her.

She was hot and so wet, tight - or maybe it was the size of his hand - but he felt her open around him, for him, and he made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a laugh. There was still something of the wonder that he had felt the first time, and the time after, but now there was familiarity, too.

"You feel so good," he breathed.

"Oh, god," she moaned before she lifted one hand to her mouth pressing her fingers to her lips, still aware that she needed to be quiet, that Eleanor was asleep. Her breath quickened and she shifted, bending her knee, pressing closer toward Delta, the fingers of her free hand tightening on his back.

He'd never once needed her guidance, she realized, he knew exactly what he was doing and the feel of his fingers inside her was good, it was perfect, and she tipped her head up, finding his mouth with hers again.

For the moment he was content to simply do that, fingering her slowly, stretching her just a little, and all the while kissing her until he felt like the borders of their skin were getting fuzzy and soft, like he could melt into her.

And he wasn't really inside her yet.

"I like watching you," he murmured, slipping his mouth free and looking down at her. "You're so beautiful. You're always beautiful."

She'd heard it before, she'd been hearing it for a good portion of her life and yet there was something about the way Delta said it that was always different. Something that made her feel warm, a deep sense of satisfaction and pleasure spreading through her and she couldn't help but smile, even as her breath caught again. It was more than just knowing it when he said it; he made her feel beautiful.

"You can... god," she breathed, pausing to find her train of thought as she bit her lower lip. "You can watch me as much as you want." Her eyes opened again and she looked at him. "As long as I can watch you."

He laughed, half incredulous. "Watch me?" He ground himself slowly against the edge of her hip, hard and hot but not in any great hurry, keeping himself in a slow burn more than anything else.

He wanted to make this last.

He lowed his head and bit very lightly at her collarbone. "Watch me do what?"

"Anything," she said with a laugh, pressing back against him, her movements slow even though she wanted him so badly she felt it in every part of her, every shift of her body. "I just like... you." She'd known it was true for a long time now, knew what she was doing, what she wanted even if she wasn't the type of person to talk about it or tell anyone.

For a little while, she'd thought Sawyer being here might complicate that, might change it, but it didn't. She still wanted to be here, she wanted to be with Delta.

This time the laugh was a rumble deep in his chest, half muffled against her breast as he started to slide down her body, trailing kisses as he went. At the apex of her breast he stopped, hesitated, then closed his teeth lightly over her nipple and tugged.

It almost surprised him, that he would do that. That he would feel the impulse to, as if he wanted to hurt her. But it was something else, something hungry and predatory that nevertheless didn't want at all to force or cause pain. Something from behind that wall that he still couldn't break through.

"I like you, too," he whispered when he released her.

Lily's breath caught, her lips parted and back arched at the feel of his teeth. "God," she moaned, feeling little tremors running through her, like electric currents under her skin and both her hands flexed and released. She laughed a little, still breathless, pressing down on his fingers and she was so impatient now, she wanted him, but at the same time, she wanted more of this. A slow build, heat inside her growing, his hands and mouth on her skin, pulling sounds out of her with every movement.

"Good," she managed to say a moment later, though she was only partly aware that she was speaking at all.

This time he didn't respond at all. He was too distracted, lightly raking his teeth down over her ribs, pausing to taste the skin of her belly before he went lower. He didn't have to ask permission this time, and he had no doubts about what he was doing. His fingers kept moving inside her, slow and steady, and when he settled between her thighs and his tongue found her clit, the circles it made were slow as well.

He hoped she never got tired of this, as long as he was with her. He was going to do everything he could to make sure she didn't.

She knew she was supposed to stay quiet, but it was difficult when he knew exactly what he was doing with his fingers and his mouth and she had to bite back a moan, her teeth pressing into her lower lip. Her hand found the back of his head, fingers threading through his hair as she arched her back.

"Oh my god, Delta," she breathed, more of a whisper than anything, forcing herself to stay quiet when everything in her was begging her not to.

It felt as if he was playing with her, slowly and carefully, pulling what he wanted out of her - which was, after all, only what she wanted too. That much, he was sure of. He gave her long, slow laps of his tongue, faster flicks, the kinds of swirling movements that he knew she loved.

But he wanted to be inside her.

"I need a condom," he breathed, kissing the inside of her thigh. "Can you... The bedside table."

The muscles in her thighs trembled and she could barely get herself to move out from under him when all she wanted was to stay right there and let him do exactly what he was doing. But she wanted him inside her, too, and she managed to untangle her fingers from his hair, her body from his and she shifted until she could reach the bedside table and into the drawer.

Still lost in the sensations of having Delta's mouth on her, sweat prickling her body, it took her a few moments of groping blindly before she found a condom. "Got one," she breathed, pushing up on her elbow so she could look down at him.

He watched her move, enjoying the way the lines of her body shifted and flexed in the dim lamplight, then pushed himself up over, pausing to drag his mouth up the line of her throat.

"Put it on me," he breathed, smiling against her jaw. When he licked his lips, he could still taste her. "Please."

Lifting her other hand, Lily ripped open the package and then reached both hands down between their bodies. She couldn't see what she was doing, not with his mouth against her jaw, but she didn't need to see to find his cock, taking him in hand. Before rolling the condom down over him, she twisted her hand around him, smiling as she tipped her head back.

But she couldn't wait, couldn't drag it out and tease him any longer, not when she so desperately wanted him, and she put the condom on, pressing closer to him.

He shuddered as she did it, his eyes slipping half closed as he let out a soft gasp. But though he wanted to push into her, wanted to grasp her by the hips and maneuver them together, he didn't, not immediately. He kept them like that, breathing her in, feeling her overheated skin pressed against his.

Then he did grasp her by the hips and flipped her easily over onto her side, sliding up behind her and closing a hand over her breast.

"God, Delta," she breathed, loving how easily he moved her, shifted her and she pressed back against him. Her hand slipped up to cover his, squeezing lightly as she arched her hips back, feeling his cock sliding against her. He felt incredible and she was nearly sober now, her head buzzing with him, with the feel of his skin, his breath on her instead of the alcohol she'd had.

He laughed again, soft, muffling it against the back of her neck as he slid his hand down and under her thigh, spreading her a little. And then when he angled his hips just right he was in her so easily it almost startled him, letting out a shaky breath as he stilled and let himself feel her.

"Shh," he breathed. Not that it was necessary. But it gave him an excuse to press his fingertips against her lips.

"Oh, fuck," she whispered against his finger, feeling him suddenly inside of her, suddenly so perfect. Her lips parted against his finger as she drew in a deep breath, trying to follow his instructions, trying to stay quiet, but it was so difficult when everything felt so good. One hand slid back, reaching for him, running across his hip and down his leg as she arched back against him.

When he felt her hand he started to move, thrusting in deep and slow enough that it barely counted as a thrust at all. He let out a hard breath, almost a groan, and presses his lips to the ridge of her shoulder.

There was something about being quiet that he almost liked, as if everything he was feeling was pressed up against his skin, seething into itself. Preparing to burst open.

It was like being dragged apart, that slow thrust, the mounting pleasure that would rise and recede as he moved slowly inside of her. She shifted, moving her leg back a little, hooking her foot between his as her grip on his hip tightened. Slow was good, it gave them both all the time in the world to just enjoy this, to feel it, and her head tipped back a little, a soft breath escaping.

As before, as always, there was something familiar about it. Not just the pleasure, not just what they had felt before together, but something deeper and older and further back. He had done this. He had done this with someone else, just like this.

But he didn't want to be here with anyone else. Only her.

"Lily," he whispered, moving a little faster. "Ah... You feel so good."

"Delta," she breathed, pressing back against him, her hips arching and moving with his. She groped blindly for his hand, taking it in hers and dragging it down the front of her body, guiding his fingers between her thighs. Her hair was sticking to the back of her neck and her skin prickled with pleasure as he moved inside her. "Oh god, please..." And she wasn't even sure what she was begging for, more or less or all of it at once.