Lily (
notfaking_it) wrote2013-08-25 05:00 pm
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Lily wasn't sure what the time was.
She knew she'd seen Sawyer, gone home, showered, thought about calling someone and in the end decided against it. She remembered leaving the apartment, thinking again about stopping at Nina's, then that she had walked to a nearby bar instead. She remembered buying her first drink, and receiving the few drinks that came after, but she couldn't put faces to the men who'd bought them for her.
They didn't matter. No one mattered.
This was why she never stayed in one place for too long. This was the reason she kept moving, finding a new job, a new city. This was why she kept her relationships light and easy, because then someone came along and got under her skin -- Nina, Eden, Sawyer, Delta -- and that could be okay. That wasn't the problem. It was when she stopped having control. It was when they became someone she needed that it was a problem. She wasn't used to needing anything or anyone, she was used to being the one in charge.
Somehow, after several drinks, that seemed like something she needed to explain to someone. To Delta, maybe, because he'd done the same thing Sawyer had and she wanted to know if he was going to continue following his example.
Eleanor was probably asleep. She realized that as she pressed the buzzer, then braced herself against the wall, waiting for Delta to answer.
She knew she'd seen Sawyer, gone home, showered, thought about calling someone and in the end decided against it. She remembered leaving the apartment, thinking again about stopping at Nina's, then that she had walked to a nearby bar instead. She remembered buying her first drink, and receiving the few drinks that came after, but she couldn't put faces to the men who'd bought them for her.
They didn't matter. No one mattered.
This was why she never stayed in one place for too long. This was the reason she kept moving, finding a new job, a new city. This was why she kept her relationships light and easy, because then someone came along and got under her skin -- Nina, Eden, Sawyer, Delta -- and that could be okay. That wasn't the problem. It was when she stopped having control. It was when they became someone she needed that it was a problem. She wasn't used to needing anything or anyone, she was used to being the one in charge.
Somehow, after several drinks, that seemed like something she needed to explain to someone. To Delta, maybe, because he'd done the same thing Sawyer had and she wanted to know if he was going to continue following his example.
Eleanor was probably asleep. She realized that as she pressed the buzzer, then braced herself against the wall, waiting for Delta to answer.

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"Delta," she breathed against his lips, trying to get him completely undressed, wanting to get to his skin, to everything.
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In some ways - maybe in that way - they were alike. He could be weak. Had the freedom to be so, now.
"Is this helping?" He smiled against her collarbone, one hand already sliding down her belly to nestle between her thighs.
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"You're helping," she corrected, her fingers pushing into his hair.
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She was hot and so wet, tight - or maybe it was the size of his hand - but he felt her open around him, for him, and he made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a laugh. There was still something of the wonder that he had felt the first time, and the time after, but now there was familiarity, too.
"You feel so good," he breathed.
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He'd never once needed her guidance, she realized, he knew exactly what he was doing and the feel of his fingers inside her was good, it was perfect, and she tipped her head up, finding his mouth with hers again.
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And he wasn't really inside her yet.
"I like watching you," he murmured, slipping his mouth free and looking down at her. "You're so beautiful. You're always beautiful."
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"You can... god," she breathed, pausing to find her train of thought as she bit her lower lip. "You can watch me as much as you want." Her eyes opened again and she looked at him. "As long as I can watch you."
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He wanted to make this last.
He lowed his head and bit very lightly at her collarbone. "Watch me do what?"
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For a little while, she'd thought Sawyer being here might complicate that, might change it, but it didn't. She still wanted to be here, she wanted to be with Delta.
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It almost surprised him, that he would do that. That he would feel the impulse to, as if he wanted to hurt her. But it was something else, something hungry and predatory that nevertheless didn't want at all to force or cause pain. Something from behind that wall that he still couldn't break through.
"I like you, too," he whispered when he released her.
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"Good," she managed to say a moment later, though she was only partly aware that she was speaking at all.
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He hoped she never got tired of this, as long as he was with her. He was going to do everything he could to make sure she didn't.
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"Oh my god, Delta," she breathed, more of a whisper than anything, forcing herself to stay quiet when everything in her was begging her not to.
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But he wanted to be inside her.
"I need a condom," he breathed, kissing the inside of her thigh. "Can you... The bedside table."
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Still lost in the sensations of having Delta's mouth on her, sweat prickling her body, it took her a few moments of groping blindly before she found a condom. "Got one," she breathed, pushing up on her elbow so she could look down at him.
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"Put it on me," he breathed, smiling against her jaw. When he licked his lips, he could still taste her. "Please."
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But she couldn't wait, couldn't drag it out and tease him any longer, not when she so desperately wanted him, and she put the condom on, pressing closer to him.
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Then he did grasp her by the hips and flipped her easily over onto her side, sliding up behind her and closing a hand over her breast.
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"Shh," he breathed. Not that it was necessary. But it gave him an excuse to press his fingertips against her lips.
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There was something about being quiet that he almost liked, as if everything he was feeling was pressed up against his skin, seething into itself. Preparing to burst open.
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But he didn't want to be here with anyone else. Only her.
"Lily," he whispered, moving a little faster. "Ah... You feel so good."
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