notfaking_it | (no subject)

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faye

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The first time Lily sees her, she thinks she might be imagining things.

It's not impossible, she knows, but if Faye were in Darrow, she can't see why she wouldn't have run into her before. Romeo and Juliet is opening next week and Lily's face is plastered on the dance hall as well as half the posters in the train station and on the street. She's not exactly inconspicuous lately and although she doesn't get stopped on the street, if someone who knew her were to show up, they'd be hard pressed to miss her.

The second time she catches sight of her is on the street near the train station. For a moment, Lily simply watches her, trying to make sure it's really Faye, then she hurries across the street to catch up with her.

"Hey!" she calls, her voice friendly, not quite able to believe it's her. That she's here. She's been lucky, really, her friends have turned up and she's made new ones, but besides Eden and Eames, there's no one else here who really knows her.

Not like Faye.

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In spite of herself, Faye starts to curve into herself. A show of vulnerability that she doesn't care for, an inability to stand tall that leaves her feeling weak, but this, this of all things is just something Faye can't abide. She's lost enough of her life before, and the thought that there's still something else out there that she hasn't properly remembered shakes her to the core, stomach twisting unpleasantly.

However strong she tries to be, there's no hiding the unease this time.

"So what caused it?" she asks, tone quieter. More polite. "Has he been to the doctor, has he tried... something to get that memory back?"

"I don't know," she says, deciding to go with honesty. Faye's always been able to tell if she's lying or holding something back and Lily figures this is probably the absolute worst time to try and pull something over on her. "As far as I know, things started to come back to him in pieces, but he didn't go see anyone and I don't know what helped."

She pauses, frowning faintly. "Look, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I saw you and I was... I was happy to see you, that's all." It stings, but she can't imagine how confusing it must be for Faye.

Breathing slowly, evenly, Faye straightens her shoulders. There's nothing to suggest that the girl's lying, but Faye can't tell if she'd rather stay right by the woman's side to check for any type of give or if she'd rather run away to reflect on her own. Raising one hand to her nose, she massages the bridge and takes a few deep breaths.

"What's your name?" she eventually settles on, raising her gaze to hold steady with the woman's. "If I don't remember something that happened to me before, the least I should be left with is your name."

"Lily," she says and she tries not to remember all the things they'd talked about, the conversations, the stories they'd shared, but it's impossible. It's like every moment with Faye is happening again, right now, and nothing she can do will help her forget any of it.

She has to get out of here, but before she can make herself turn, she says, "We were friends. I know it doesn't mean much now, but we were."

It's an interesting remark, and Faye finds herself wondering yet again — and more fervently this time, an edge to the wonder, an edge mixed with unease — about what that friendship entailed. Why would she stop to make friends? Why would being on an island matter, why wouldn't she just leave, what was it about this woman that had Faye staying around back then, willing to learn more?

Was it another place like this one, where no one seems to be able to choose to leave?

"I don't make friends very often," she says quietly, less to drive the other woman away. Truth be told, Faye's just... curious. "Don't usually get along well with my fellow woman, and don't have the patience for most men."

"I know," Lily answers. It's part of why she'd always considered her friendship with Faye to be a true friendship, the sort that doesn't always come along, no matter how well she might get along with a person. The two of them could very well have ended up disliking each other, struggling to keep their own power, but it hadn't happened that way at all.

She's feeling unsteady, which she doesn't like, confused and unsure of herself. "Look, I'm going to take off," she says, pointing back over her shoulder. "I need..." But she doesn't know what she needs, which is what makes everything more difficult. "I'll see you."

She hopes that's true. As strange as she feels right now, as unsettled and hurt, she doesn't want to not see Faye ever again. That would be worse, somehow, an insult to the opportunity she's been given.

She considers stopping Lily. She really does. Because there's so much that hangs in the balance as Lily heads in the other direction, too much known about Faye that leaves her uneasy just thinking about it. But Faye doesn't know what she'd say. Doesn't know what she'd do. Keep Lily chained to herself?

That's not an option, either, because staying at Faye's side for too long is how all those secrets start spilling out to begin with. Pressing hers lips together, she watches Lily start taking a few steps.

"See you," she says, eyes narrowed as she watches Lily retreat.

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