notfaking_it | (no subject)

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faye

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The first time Lily sees her, she thinks she might be imagining things.

It's not impossible, she knows, but if Faye were in Darrow, she can't see why she wouldn't have run into her before. Romeo and Juliet is opening next week and Lily's face is plastered on the dance hall as well as half the posters in the train station and on the street. She's not exactly inconspicuous lately and although she doesn't get stopped on the street, if someone who knew her were to show up, they'd be hard pressed to miss her.

The second time she catches sight of her is on the street near the train station. For a moment, Lily simply watches her, trying to make sure it's really Faye, then she hurries across the street to catch up with her.

"Hey!" she calls, her voice friendly, not quite able to believe it's her. That she's here. She's been lucky, really, her friends have turned up and she's made new ones, but besides Eden and Eames, there's no one else here who really knows her.

Not like Faye.

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There are really only a handful of people in Darrow who know Faye with any true amount of familiarity. Only a handful of people who'd be at all likely to call out at her with a tone that sounds almost warm, welcoming, like that of a friend pleased to see her. Only a handful of people, and before Faye even bothers to turn around, she can only keep track of two overarching thoughts — that this voice isn't familiar, and that it's too young of a voice to be from home.

The one she's only recently remembered.

Still, it's with the same undercurrent of trepidation that Faye turns around, hoping that it's just a kind word from a stranger, that she's just overthinking and overspeculating on that airy tone of voice.

"Can I help you?" she asks, hoping that it's just a case of mistaken identity.

There's no mistaking Faye, not once she's turned, but the smile fades from Lily's face all the same. Faye's face is so familiar, enough that it makes Lily's chest ache, but there's not a hint of recognition there and she can deal with a lot of shit, but she doesn't know if she can handle this.

Since leaving the island, since losing Nina and leaving Sawyer, she's not sure she's hurt this much in such a quick instant and for the first time in a long time, she isn't even sure what to do.

"Hi," she says. "Sorry, I thought I recognized you."

There's a deep look of unease in the other woman's eyes, and Faye doesn't miss it. Her brow cuts in a furrow, deeply suspicious as she glances at the brunette. If she's been recognized, she wants to know. If she's been recognized and can't even begin to fathom why or how, she wants to know. And the courtesy done a stranger isn't quite enough to have Faye shying away completely.

"And you do," Faye replies, pushing a bit. "From where?"

For a moment, Lily only looks at her, trying to decide what she wants to say if anything at all. Whether or not she remembers, this is Faye in front of her and they were friends once, and she isn't sure she's willing to risk having that again just to save herself some pain right now. Maybe Faye won't believe her, but there are plenty of things Lily can tell her that might help.

"We were on an island together," she says. "You don't remember me, though."

And that hurts, whether she wants to admit it to herself or not.

Faye likes to think that she's a good reader of people. She likes to think that she's able to sense sincerity when it's in front of her. She likes to think that she's finally beyond being tricked, being misled, but what she's come to realize above anything else is the fact that there's more to it than that. This woman might be a brainwashed tool, herself. And that's the worst part. Minds are unreliable.

"So why don't I remember?" Faye says, not quite giving the woman the benefit of the doubt. "And what do you even know about me to make that story plausible? I've forgotten a lot in my life. But I always notice the blanks."

There's no reason at all for Faye to believe her, but Lily doesn't respond well to being challenged and she finds herself bristling, although she knows it's unfair. A part of her wants to turn and walk away, forget she's ever seen Faye, forget she's here in this city at all, but she knows that won't be possible. There are certain people who've gotten under her skin, people she's loved in her way and Faye is one of them.

"You took me up in the Redtail," she says. "To get rid of these strange turquoise marbles you'd found spread all over the beach. You thought they were a virus, you said you were immune, that a man named Vincent had done something to you to make that possible. You were worried they were going to make me sick. They didn't and we got rid of them together."

There's no hiding the draining of color from her face as Faye stares at Lily, increasingly wide-eyed and terrified of the implications of someone else knowing what happened, of someone else knowing Vincent's name, of someone else ultimately knowing the name of her ship. Someone knowing that she was immune. Most of those pieces of information are easily learned through various news sources. Faye may not be one of the few whose names live greatest in infamy, but she's stolen and conned enough in her life that the name of her Redtail isn't all that much of a secret.

But her immunity is another story entirely.

"Do you know Vincent?" she asks, eyes sharper than before, trying to catch any hint of a lie.

"No," Lily says. "Like I said, we were on an island. I never met anyone else from your life except Ed and then only in passing." There are other things she knows, but these are things Faye won't remember and there's no point in bringing them up. Dean and the baby in particular. If she doesn't remember Lily, then she won't remember them and there's no reason to make things more difficult.

"I've heard it happens," she offers, as if that makes it easier. "A friend of mine had the same thing happen. His husband showed up without any memory of the island." He'd remembered eventually, but she doesn't want to assume that's going to happen here.

In spite of herself, Faye starts to curve into herself. A show of vulnerability that she doesn't care for, an inability to stand tall that leaves her feeling weak, but this, this of all things is just something Faye can't abide. She's lost enough of her life before, and the thought that there's still something else out there that she hasn't properly remembered shakes her to the core, stomach twisting unpleasantly.

However strong she tries to be, there's no hiding the unease this time.

"So what caused it?" she asks, tone quieter. More polite. "Has he been to the doctor, has he tried... something to get that memory back?"

"I don't know," she says, deciding to go with honesty. Faye's always been able to tell if she's lying or holding something back and Lily figures this is probably the absolute worst time to try and pull something over on her. "As far as I know, things started to come back to him in pieces, but he didn't go see anyone and I don't know what helped."

She pauses, frowning faintly. "Look, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I saw you and I was... I was happy to see you, that's all." It stings, but she can't imagine how confusing it must be for Faye.

Breathing slowly, evenly, Faye straightens her shoulders. There's nothing to suggest that the girl's lying, but Faye can't tell if she'd rather stay right by the woman's side to check for any type of give or if she'd rather run away to reflect on her own. Raising one hand to her nose, she massages the bridge and takes a few deep breaths.

"What's your name?" she eventually settles on, raising her gaze to hold steady with the woman's. "If I don't remember something that happened to me before, the least I should be left with is your name."

"Lily," she says and she tries not to remember all the things they'd talked about, the conversations, the stories they'd shared, but it's impossible. It's like every moment with Faye is happening again, right now, and nothing she can do will help her forget any of it.

She has to get out of here, but before she can make herself turn, she says, "We were friends. I know it doesn't mean much now, but we were."

It's an interesting remark, and Faye finds herself wondering yet again — and more fervently this time, an edge to the wonder, an edge mixed with unease — about what that friendship entailed. Why would she stop to make friends? Why would being on an island matter, why wouldn't she just leave, what was it about this woman that had Faye staying around back then, willing to learn more?

Was it another place like this one, where no one seems to be able to choose to leave?

"I don't make friends very often," she says quietly, less to drive the other woman away. Truth be told, Faye's just... curious. "Don't usually get along well with my fellow woman, and don't have the patience for most men."

"I know," Lily answers. It's part of why she'd always considered her friendship with Faye to be a true friendship, the sort that doesn't always come along, no matter how well she might get along with a person. The two of them could very well have ended up disliking each other, struggling to keep their own power, but it hadn't happened that way at all.

She's feeling unsteady, which she doesn't like, confused and unsure of herself. "Look, I'm going to take off," she says, pointing back over her shoulder. "I need..." But she doesn't know what she needs, which is what makes everything more difficult. "I'll see you."

She hopes that's true. As strange as she feels right now, as unsettled and hurt, she doesn't want to not see Faye ever again. That would be worse, somehow, an insult to the opportunity she's been given.

She considers stopping Lily. She really does. Because there's so much that hangs in the balance as Lily heads in the other direction, too much known about Faye that leaves her uneasy just thinking about it. But Faye doesn't know what she'd say. Doesn't know what she'd do. Keep Lily chained to herself?

That's not an option, either, because staying at Faye's side for too long is how all those secrets start spilling out to begin with. Pressing hers lips together, she watches Lily start taking a few steps.

"See you," she says, eyes narrowed as she watches Lily retreat.

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