notfaking_it | (no subject)

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nina

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They work together, they spend a lot of their time together, but Lily realizes she doesn't actually tell Nina all that much. It's not that she's avoiding telling her things, because, if she's honest, she hasn't discussed Delta with very many people at all. Not because she's embarrassed of him, not because she doesn't know what's going on, but because she's never been prone to talking about her relationships.

Because that's what it is. She's in a relationship.

She and Delta haven't talked about it, really, but she doesn't think they need to.

She's made plans with Nina for that afternoon, coffee and maybe some shopping, and she's wondering if she should tell her. If that's the sort of thing they need to discuss. She's waiting at the coffee shop, though, near the door, a scarf wrapped around her neck against the wind.

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"It's... different," Lily settles on saying, not sure if this is the sort of thing Nina is going to want to talk to her about. "It's certainly not what I expected."

But what had she expected, then, when she'd asked him on a date? She hadn't been sure at the time and she isn't sure now.

"Why not? He seems..."

She couldn't say nice, not again, but she didn't know him. She hadn't let herself know him. She'd fought against it, avoided him when she could, closed herself off in the rare moments they'd been forced to interact, even if it hadn't happened consciously.

"He seems good for you. You're happier. I'd thought it was just the company and everything going on with that, but..."

But it must've been something else. It must've been him.

Lily doesn't know if she's happier, but she pauses when Nina says that, considering. Things are different, she's aware of that much, but she's always been a relatively content person and she doesn't know how much of her happiness in Darrow comes from Delta or comes from simply being herself.

"He is good," she says. "And I am happy, but... I don't know. Come on, Nina, did you ever think you'd see me in a real relationship?" She certainly didn't. Even now, she's not sure if it's the right thing for her.

"I... I don't know. I didn't think it was impossible," Nina admitted softly, feeling a sudden tightness in her throat and a humiliating prickling behind her eyes.

"I'm happy for you," she said, because suddenly she needed convincing, but now that the words were out of her mouth, they felt like a lie. "Really."

Lily had never thought it was completely impossible, but it's not something she's considered for herself either. Still, she smiles a little and says, "Thanks." All this time and she's never been entirely sure how Nina might react, what she might say or think. Even now, she's not sure Nina really means it, but Lily isn't sure she wants to push too hard.

"So what about you? Any prospective dating on the horizon?"

"Not really, no," she said, and she thought, wildly, about making an excuse to leave, but they'd only just gotten there. The only choice she had was to keep pretending. And she was happy for Lily, wasn't she?

"I've been really busy with the company, and... you know. It's been a really crazy year."

"Magical island to magical city, yeah, that can kind of make things a little crazy," Lily agrees with a bit of a laugh. She's adjusted well enough, mostly because there's a place for her to dance and more than one restaurant to go to, but she knows not everyone can settle here.

"So what do you want to dance next season?" she asks. "Any dreams we can get Darrow to fulfill?"

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