notfaking_it | (no subject)

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nina

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They were getting closer to opening night and Nina was dancing beautifully, as always. They had learned the new choreography, they'd found their patterns, their movements. Lily liked working with Nina, they were generally comfortable with each other now and she knew damn well they had excellent chemistry, which was coming through in every duet they performed.

But they were both tired. And she was starting to wonder if it wasn't wearing on Nina like it did before. She didn't want to worry and she sure as hell didn't want to pry, but she kept thinking about that movie and all the things it had shown her. Things she didn't want to know.

At the studio one evening, she got changed, pulling her hair out of the bun and running her fingers through the tangles. When she stepped into the hall, she had her bag over one shoulder and she paused by Nina's dressing room to see if she was still there, if maybe she wanted to grab some dinner.

"Hey," she called, rapping on the door. "Are you gone?"

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"I said just a minute," she said sharply, tension shooting down her spine when her room was suddenly occupied. But it was just Lily, she reminded herself. Just Lily, who wouldn't hurt her, who wasn't after her.

She's after me... She's trying to replace me...

Drawing in a shuddering breath, she put on a smile, wiping the back of her hand across her cheeks one more time. "I'm sorry, I just..."

She shrugged.

"Way, way too tense?" Lily asked as she dropped her bag on the floor, then crossed the room to sit in the other chair. It shouldn't have surprised her, not with everything she'd seen, but she wanted to think things were different this time. They weren't in direct competition with each other, there was no Thomas to push and lean and press until Nina broke under his hands. It should have been different.

"It's been a long day," she allowed, pushing her hair off her face. They were only going to get longer and more challenging, which she was sure Nina knew. "It's been a couple of long days, I guess."

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she said, huffing out a frustrated sigh and snatching a tissue from the box on her vanity.

"I was fine. I was. But then today..." So much was riding on this performance. It wasn't just her career on the line. It was Lily's, too.

"You're allowed to have a shitty day, you know," Lily said, leaning back in the chair. "One bad day isn't the end of the world, especially when it's just rehearsal." They were getting close, but Nina would perform beautifully, as she always did, just as long as she could let go a little.

"Look, you trust me, right?" she asked, though she didn't know if Nina did.

"I trust you," she whispered, but no matter how soft and uncertain it sounded, it was honest. In New York, she'd been convinced she'd learned her lesson when it came to trusting Lily.

Now, there was no one she could think of in the world she trusted more.

"Then all you have to do is trust me," she said, leaning forward, her elbows on her knees. "You know the choreography better than anyone, you have the best technique of any dancer I've seen. All you have to do is tell a love story now. We can do that."

She was sure they could do that if Nina would only let herself.

She was quiet for a moment, cheeks still wet, her heartbeat thumping wildly in her chest. She'd wanted, for so long, to be just like Beth, to have that dark impulse inside her, driving her, and now... now that it was there, she still didn't know what it meant. She didn't know if she could tell a love story, because she wanted, she wanted so much, wanted until she was desperate with it, but that didn't mean she'd ever known what it was like to be in love.

Letting out a breath, she let that dark impulse surge up within her, let it push her forward, lift her hands and curl them along the sides of Lily's face. She pressed her lips to Lily's and let go.

Lily smiled against Nina's mouth, kissing her back, her hands lifting to curl around Nina's wrists. Sometimes she still felt that faint hint of guilt, remembering the things she'd seen in the movie, the things she'd done, even unintentionally. But sometimes she felt like she really had helped Nina on the island, if not back in New York.

"See?" she asked, her voice a little breathless. "We can do that."

"Okay," Nina agreed, nodding distantly before she pushed her way back into the kiss. Before, she'd been making a point-- to Lily, but mostly to herself. Now, she just wanted to keep kissing, and she couldn't think of a single reason why she should stop.

Lily grinned, her fingertips traveling up the length of Nina's arms, before she cupped either side of her neck. She could imagine what the other dancers would say if any of them were to walk in now and she didn't care in the slightest. What she wanted was to be good, for Nina to know how good she could be without pressing herself to the point of breaking.

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