(no subject)

[notfaking_it]

Some nights, Lily finds she can't be alone. She stops by Eden's place to take her out or drops by on Eames, completely unannounced but, not as far as she can tell, unwelcome. And then there are nights like this one, where she has to go out by herself. Nights when it feels like her skin is too tight, the apartment is too small, the city isn't big enough for all the things she wants and all the people she needs.

And she hates that she needs them.

It's easier to go out, find a bar, get lost in a drink and some music and maybe a conversation with a stranger.

Sometimes, in the faces of the other dancers, thin and dark haired, she catches a glimpse of Nina. But she's not here. Just like the others, she's gone. She's somewhere else.

"What do you have on tap?" she asks the bartender when she takes a seat, then glances to either side of her. There's a man and she offers him a smile. "Hey."

Comments

[notfaking_it]

"I think if you're the type to let your temper get frayed, it's going to happen no matter what," Lily says, smiling a little, thinking of someone like Veronica who'd been fun to go out with, but had always had her back up about something. "The amount of backstabbing that can go on in a company is ridiculous." Which is why she tended to keep her work and her social life as separate as possible.

With the exception of Nina. And David.

[molokovcocktail]

"I once knew a dancer, very sweet and gentle girl until she started talking about her fellow members of the company," Molokov reflected. "To hear her, the girls were all talentless cows and the boys were incompetent idiots who wouldn't know a beat if it slapped them. The less said about the prima ballerina, the better."

[notfaking_it]

Lily laughs a little, though she's not surprised to hear a story like that. "See, I never got that," she says, pushing her hair back over her shoulders. "I love dancing and anyone else who works in a company usually loves dancing, too. That's enough for me, I couldn't be bothered to spend my time comparing them to each other or to myself." Her days are busy, after all, between rehearsal and the small social circle she's built for herself here.

[molokovcocktail]

"If I would be permitted to venture a guess," Molokov said as charmingly as he could. "I would think that it is because you are so confident, so sure of your talent. Others, they may be just as talented but they do not feel it is so and so they take it out on others."

[notfaking_it]

"Low self esteem is definitely the downfall of a lot of beautiful dancers," Lily agrees, though sometimes having too much confidence gets in the way as well. Beth is a fine example of that, a woman with too high an opinion of herself on most days and far too low an opinion the rest of the time. It's a dangerous combination, as she well proved. "And this is why I choose to befriend men in bars instead of the other dancers."

[molokovcocktail]

"And I am very happy and honored that you have done so," Molokov smiled and playfully saluted her with his glass. Compared to the other dancers he had talked with over the years, Lily was an absolute delight. Continuing to get to know her would be a wonderful thing and he hoped very much he would be lucky enough for that.