notfaking_it | (no subject)

Entry tags:

kaine

(no subject)

It isn't so late that the streets are empty, everyone at home and tucked into bed, but it's late enough. The bars are still open, restaurant patios occasionally overflowing with people who, like Lily, aren't yet ready to go home. She's had a few drinks, danced for an hour or so at a club and now she isn't sure what she's looking for. No one in the club held her interest long enough to make her want to invite them home.

She's entertaining going to visit someone, maybe Eames, maybe one of the new friends she's made since her arrival here, but for the moment she stands on the sidewalk, indecisive.

The city's getting under her skin in a way the island never could. It's not New York, but she belongs here more than she ever did there. Even so she can't make herself forget the people left behind, she can't stop thinking about the way they made her feel, the things they did for her. She can't stop thinking about Sawyer and Faye and Jeff. She can't stop thinking about Nina and it's killing her.

"Hey," she says suddenly, turning to a passing stranger. "What time is it?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Now that I know what my role is here, I'll fulfill it to the best of my abilities," she teases, pushing her hands into her pockets as they wait for the elevator. There's no one around, which is nice, and although she still isn't sure which building they're in -- she isn't particularly familiar with places that aren't bars or retail stores -- she's interested to see what's all the way up at the top.

"And now I know you think I can charm people with my smile," she adds, offering him one of her brighter grins.

"I didn't know it was ever in question."

It's definitely one of the better smiles I've ever seen and heaven help anyone she wants to charm into doing something for her. Maybe that's what is happening here with me and I don't even know it. Can't say I mind it too much if that's the case.

The elevator dings and I hold the door open for her before stepping in myself and hitting the button for the top floor.

"Seemed pretty obvious to me."

"Well, sometimes a girl just likes to hear that she's appreciated," she says, leaning back against the wall, watching as the numbers light up, one at a time. "So what's at the top of this building, exactly? Something top secret?" She's only partly teasing, given what she knows about the city itself, what she's learned in her time on the island. There could be practically anything up there, anything at all.

"I, uh, appreciate how much you smile then."

It was a lame compliment but I hope the sincerity of it earns me a few points at least. Not that I know why I want any points or what they can be exchanged for. Maybe I just hope it makes her smile again.

"It is a secret and it is at the top so sure, top secret."

"Okay, okay. I get it. I won't ask again," she says, lifting her hands as she laughs. The closer they get to the top of the building, the more curious she becomes. It's possible he's just taking her up to the roof to see the view, which is probably amazing and is more than enough of a surprise, but there's a chance it's something else.

"I'll just have to wait and see." Although, as she mentioned in the bar, she's not very patient and she begins to shift slightly, her hands clasped behind her back.

The elevator ride isn't particularly long, but I suppose that while you're waiting for a surprise, it might seem much longer, which would explain how antsy she's getting.

"Yeah, I see you've got that patient thing down just fine."

When the elevator stops and the door opens, I lead her down a hallway and to the stairs leading to the roof. The door is locked but a little extra pressure on the lever pops the lock and the door swings open easily.

"Almost there."

Lily watches this all carefully, the way he pops the door open, another one she's fairly sure is locked, but she doesn't comment on that either. There are plenty of things she's done that she knows are illegal and something like this barely even registers. Something like this is still plenty fun.

"Should I close my eyes?" she asks, though she's teasing.

"Uh, yeah, that will probably make it more exciting," I say, reaching out to offer her my hand.

I really hope she isn't expecting too much out of this, because it's not like it's all that spectacular, it was just a whim I had will drinking in a bar. With how impatient she's been I'm pretty sure this is going to be a let down. Well, live and learn.

Lily smiles for a moment before she takes Kaine's hand and closes her eyes at the same time. There are so many things that could go wrong here, so many dangerous possibilities and that, in part, is why she's here. She's always been a little destructive and although it hasn't always turned back on her, lately she feels it much more acutely in that way.

"Don't let me fall," she warns softly.

"I'm not going to let you fall," I say, rolling my eyes. Even if she did fall through some freak accident, I'm probably the most qualified person in the entire city to rescue her.

I lead her by the hand around the rooftop. The wind is annoyingly loud, but that's only a problem for a moment before I lead her into a small alcove.

"There, you can open your eyes," I tell her. "This is one of the few spots in the city where you can look out over the lights that's also sheltered from the wind."

When the wind first hits her, there's a moment where she has to steel herself against it, pressing into it slightly. The wind whips her hair around her face, but then Kaine is leading her across the roof and suddenly the wind is gone.

Opening her eyes, she reaches up to tug her hair out of the way, smoothing it back from her face as she looks out at the view. "Wow," she says, surprised by how it looks up here. It's not New York, but it's been a long time since she's seen a city like this.

This particular spot has a nice view of one of the longer streets, gold and yellow lights snaking through the city like some sort of mechanical serpent. I know it doesn't compare to some city sights, but in this place it's not too bad and the fact that we had to do a little breaking and entering to get here I feel adds to the atmosphere.

"Not too spectacular, but I didn't have time to get a tightrope up here to walk between the buildings or something more amazing."

Lily laughs, the sound a little breathless after the trip they've taken across the roof in the wind, after the drinks she's had. She feels faintly light headed, but in a good way. It's the combination of everything, she thinks. The drinks, the lights, the fact that she's up here with a near stranger who's had to break in to get her up here.

Turning slightly, she presses closer to Kaine and shakes her head. "No, it's amazing," she says.

"Good."

I can feel her pressing closer to me and I don't know what to make of it. I know what my body thinks I should make of it, but with a history of mental illness and instincts that say I should kill the majority of the people who annoy me, I tend not to trust those kind of reactions.

Still, it feels nice and I'm not about to push her away. Maybe I'll just... let it be for now.

For a moment Lily's quiet, just looking out at the lights, at the cars moving down below and in the distance. With the wind blocked, it's surprisingly quiet and he's awfully warm beside her and she closes her eyes briefly, just to enjoy that.

When she opens them again, she tips her head back slightly to look up at Kaine. "So do you take all the girls you meet up here?" she asks. If he does, it's not a problem. She doesn't need to feel like this is out of the ordinary for it to be enjoyable.

"Uh, no. I- like I said, I don't get out much."

I'm pretty sure that Sybil would never come up here, I get the sense that she's just barely comfortable going to the library alone with me, never mind a place like this. Helen would probably like it, although I think something like this would imply... something. I don't know exactly what, but it would. Cass... Cass sees things like this every night.

"I was teasing," Lily tells him gently, although she certainly doesn't mind being the only one who's come up here with him. And she certainly doesn't mind being up here alone with him now, away from the sounds of the city that she missed so desperately on the island. She shifts slightly, pressing herself closer to Kaine, mostly on purpose, her arm hooked around his again. It's not just the warmth of his body she's looking for -- though it helps -- but the chance to find someone else, a body to replace the people she's missing.

It's a cruel thought, in a way, but it's there all the same.

"Oh."

I feel stupid for not recognizing that. I probably come off as some sort of brain dead thug who is two IQ points from being a vegetable. I really need to either keep to myself or find some way to improve my social skills. I'm thinking that shutting myself inside all day is preferable.

Of course, the beautiful woman pressing herself very closely to me is making a very strong argument for going out every now and then.

"The lack of smile threw me off."

"I'm told that when I'm not smiling I look very stern," Lily agrees, even as she tries not to smile while she says it. It's too difficult, though, and she shrugs a moment later, a stray bit of wind slipping into the alcove and sending her hair over her shoulder again.

"Don't take everything so seriously," she says, still looking up at him. "There's a lot to be said for relaxing."

"I hate to break it to you, but this is about as relaxed as I get."

It's the sad truth, but I'm not ashamed of it. After all that I've been through, I think I've earned the right to be a little tense. I don't think I could ever be as carefree as someone like Lily, but I don't think I want to be. I don't even know if I want a happy middle ground. I'm not exactly happy, but I'm me. I don't want to be someone else.

"You don't ever relax just a little more?" Lily asks, her voice rising slightly at the end of the question, her smile taking on the same suggestive tilt she'd been wearing earlier in the bar. "Remember when I told you that there's about a hundred things you can do in the city? There are about another hundred things you can do to... relax."

It's not quite the word she means, but she imagines he gets that.

"Uh."

Suddenly, I'm very, very out of my depth. My depth doesn't even include realizing that this is a depth that I might potentially go to. I can feel my temperature rising and suddenly my pants seem to be getting a lot tighter. I feel a bit panicky too, because I don't trust these sort of reactions in myself. My instincts are deeply flawed and I'm not entirely sure I trust them.

"I don't- I've never really... relaxed much and it's... it's been a while?"

There's actually something strangely appealing about that and Lily's smile hitches a little higher. She likes men -- and women, really -- of all levels of experience and there's always something that feels nice about having a little more power than the other person. And in that position, she feels more in control, something she's lacked in her more recent affairs on the island.

"Well, it's never too late to get back into the habit, so to speak," she points out.

Oh boy. Ohhhhh boy.

Suddenly, I find myself wishing that some sirens were going off so that I would have a legitimate excuse to rush off. Someone might need me to save them, and I would just have to leave instead of dealing with... whatever it was I was dealing with.

"Uh, right. It's not. Too late. Ever."

Fuck, I am totally just going to jump off the edge of this building and that will be that.

He looks and sounds so uncomfortable that Lily turns to face him fully, looking up at him for a moment. "Close your eyes," she tells him. It won't be much of a surprise, she imagines, but at least it might stop him from looking like he's torn between running away and staying exactly where he is.

And it isn't just for him. Not even close. This is so sweet in a way that she's almost completely distracted. She's not thinking of the island, she isn't thinking of Nina. She's only thinking of him and a way to make him at least slightly more comfortable.