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Aug. 25th, 2013 05:00 pmLily wasn't sure what the time was.
She knew she'd seen Sawyer, gone home, showered, thought about calling someone and in the end decided against it. She remembered leaving the apartment, thinking again about stopping at Nina's, then that she had walked to a nearby bar instead. She remembered buying her first drink, and receiving the few drinks that came after, but she couldn't put faces to the men who'd bought them for her.
They didn't matter. No one mattered.
This was why she never stayed in one place for too long. This was the reason she kept moving, finding a new job, a new city. This was why she kept her relationships light and easy, because then someone came along and got under her skin -- Nina, Eden, Sawyer, Delta -- and that could be okay. That wasn't the problem. It was when she stopped having control. It was when they became someone she needed that it was a problem. She wasn't used to needing anything or anyone, she was used to being the one in charge.
Somehow, after several drinks, that seemed like something she needed to explain to someone. To Delta, maybe, because he'd done the same thing Sawyer had and she wanted to know if he was going to continue following his example.
Eleanor was probably asleep. She realized that as she pressed the buzzer, then braced herself against the wall, waiting for Delta to answer.
She knew she'd seen Sawyer, gone home, showered, thought about calling someone and in the end decided against it. She remembered leaving the apartment, thinking again about stopping at Nina's, then that she had walked to a nearby bar instead. She remembered buying her first drink, and receiving the few drinks that came after, but she couldn't put faces to the men who'd bought them for her.
They didn't matter. No one mattered.
This was why she never stayed in one place for too long. This was the reason she kept moving, finding a new job, a new city. This was why she kept her relationships light and easy, because then someone came along and got under her skin -- Nina, Eden, Sawyer, Delta -- and that could be okay. That wasn't the problem. It was when she stopped having control. It was when they became someone she needed that it was a problem. She wasn't used to needing anything or anyone, she was used to being the one in charge.
Somehow, after several drinks, that seemed like something she needed to explain to someone. To Delta, maybe, because he'd done the same thing Sawyer had and she wanted to know if he was going to continue following his example.
Eleanor was probably asleep. She realized that as she pressed the buzzer, then braced herself against the wall, waiting for Delta to answer.