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eden

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They haven't hung out in far too long.

Lily's been meaning to call Eden for weeks now, but she's been swamped with rehearsals and performances and she keeps letting it slip by without thinking. But eventually she takes a moment, closes the door of her dressing room at the studio and calls. It's easy to get caught up in living in Darrow, easier than it ever was on the island, but that's not an excuse and she likes to think she's a better friend than that.

So they make plans and now, two days later, she's left the studio early, gone home to shower before she takes Eden out for the night. Dinner, some dancing if they want, anything they want to do, really. She's excited to see Eden again, to catch up on what's been going on in their lives and she's surprised to find just how much she misses her friend. Not because Eden's not wonderful, but because she knows her tendency to move on easily, to drift in and out of a person's life, but it's been too long now. She's too invested.

It's a good thing, she's finding.

Outside Eden's, she leans against the wall and knocks on the door, smiling in anticipation.

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Eden's life in Darrow has been a quiet one, for the most part, but she likes the simple ease of it, having a life where things seem to run smoothly and she's not normal but no one knows. Some day she'll tell the truth, admit what she is to the people she loves, but she's never seen the point in labels anyway. All she really wants is to go out with her friend and have fun, like any girl her age who's never died.

Dressed up for a night on the town, it doesn't take too long for her to get to the door, fastening an earring as she goes. "One second," she calls, then opens up, grinning at the sight of Lily. She's never going to get over her completely, she thinks, or that thrill of warmth that runs through her every time she sees her, but that's okay. Some things just aren't meant to be, and she's still pretty sure Lily's her best friend here. "Hey, hi." She steps forward to hug her. "Ugh, wow, it's so nice to see you're still alive."

Lily laughs, wrapping her arms around Eden before she brushes a kiss against her cheek. "Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated," she says, squeezing her tight for a moment before pulling back. "You look gorgeous, as always. And yeah, I'm sorry I've been so absent, rehearsals for this last show have been a killer."

She loves it, of course, or she wouldn't do it, but it's been a lot of work. The style of dancing is more modern, less classical, and it's taken a lot of work to get all the dancers into the right mindset for it.

"I bet," Eden says. She's danced a little, but never seriously, in part because she started too late and in part because she doesn't have the passion she'd need to get even half as far as Lily has. She's happy just to watch from the audience, knowing how hard it must be to look that effortless. "I wanna hear all about it. You've gotta be exhausted." Not that anyone could tell from looking at her.

"I promise it's not very exciting," Lily tells her, grinning. "Just a lot of dancers who are struggling with contemporary movements and one very irritated director." And even so, she wouldn't give it up for the world. It can be frustrating at times, especially when she's found the choreography to be simple enough to learn, but she loves it.

"Come on," she says, holding out her hand. "I'm starving, I need a lot of food in me and I need it soon."

Taking her hand, Eden locks the door behind her, unwilling to let go for something as trivial as that. "God, I am seconding that so hard," she says, starting toward the elevator. "Did you have anywhere in mind?" The where of it doesn't matter much to her. She likes everything, or at least likes to try everything. If her location has to be limited, at least her experiences don't have to be.

"There's a really excellent Vietnamese place not far from here," Lily says and even after more than a year in Darrow, she's still grateful for the variety of food. The island had its own perks, but she doesn't miss not being able to go out and find tacos somewhere at four in the morning.

"So what's been going on with you?" she asks, pressing the button for the elevator. "Tell me you've had a dozen successful auditions."

"I wouldn't go quite that far," laughs Eden. "There might have been one or two. I'm still waiting to hear back." Darrow may not be big, but it's insular, and her only acting credits come from an island no one's heard of. Still, things have seemed more promising lately, and she suspects her luck's about to turn. They're recognizing her, anyway, some of the casting directors, and it doesn't seem like a bad thing. "But I feel pretty good about it, knock on wood. "

"I bet you'll hear back soon," Lily says, because she can't imagine why anyone wouldn't call Eden. Beyond the fact that she knows her friend is talented, Eden has the sort of beauty Lily thinks should be all over this place.

"So what else is new? Jesus, it feels like it's been ages since I've seen you." And it's not just work that's kept her busy, but the strangely familiar place she's been taking in Delta's life. And Eleanor's.

"God, I —" Eden laughs, shaking her head, rolling her eyes at the story she has to tell. She's been meaning to drop by and talk with Lily, in fact, but her schedule's kept her too busy, and this is the perfect opportunity. "Okay, you know that guy I've been seeing, Luke? I told you he has a teenage son, right? Which we haven't really talked about. We don't... do a whole lot of talking, not about serious things."

She stops when the elevator arrives, stepping back to let one of her neighbors out before she steps in.

It's not fair, Lily knows, that she talks so little about Delta and Eleanor when Eden's told her things about Luke, but she's never known the right words for a relationship of this nature. It's not like her to feel uncertain and so she's just avoided it for the most part, though she's mentioned him here and there. She can't help feeling their situations are so similar, even though Lily knows she's the reason she and Delta don't often talk about serious things.

"And you want to talk about it?" she asks when the neighbour is gone and they've stepped inside the elevator. "Does he live with Luke?"

Eden laughs. "He does now. He got in trouble a while back and moved in with him," she says. "And I honestly didn't really care one way or another, 'cause it's not like we're a thing." What Luke does with his life isn't her business, not as a girlfriend. As friends, sure, but she's in no place to approve or disapprove of his choices, and why wouldn't he take in his son, especially in this situation and with their history. "Except I stayed over on Halloween, and the next day, I met the kid. And it turns out he's my friend Jason. How does that even happen?"

"Oh, shit," Lily says, looking over at Eden with her eyebrows drawn together. "So you already knew his son completely outside of him being Luke's son. And he didn't know you were sleeping with his father, did he?" She's not really one to find herself in awkward situations because she often refuses to let things be awkward, but she imagines it's almost impossible to avoid in that situation.

She tries, briefly, to imagine what it would have been like to discover a friend of hers had been Delta's daughter and she can't. It's too strange. "That has to be pretty weird."

"Well, he figured it out," Eden says, laughing, "when he found me in the kitchen in his dad's shirt." At least Jason hasn't been an asshole about it, which has helped to keep her from feeling like one, when none of them could have known any better. "Just his dad's shirt."

Stepping out of the elevator, she holds it for Lily. "I've never actually been in that situation before, sleeping with someone's dad. I mean, not and meeting their kids."

Lily doesn't mean to laugh, but Eden is, and it is funny in that kind of unbelievable way. That's not the sort of thing she imagines anyone ever expects to happen to them and then when it does, there isn't much else to do but laugh a little.

"Oh, I know," she says as she gets off the elevator, although Eleanor has never caught her in the kitchen wearing very little. "I never imagined myself sleeping with someone who had children and I guess Delta's relationship with Eleanor isn't exactly... traditional, but it's the same in the end."

"It's the same," Eden agrees, nodding. "I mean, Luke wasn't around at all when Jason was growing up, so they might even be closer. But at least their kids are, like, teenagers." She loves kids, she really does, but she's not prepared to juggle some kind of pseudo-relationship and some kindergartener. And she can't even imagine explaining the same situation to a younger kid, whereas Jason gets it, whether he likes it or not.

"Oh, yeah, I can't imagine if he had a toddler," Lily agrees with a laugh, shaking her head. There are a lot of things she can do, but she's not even remotely interested in becoming someone's mother. "I'm not the right kind of person to take something like that on."

And if that had been the case, she would have been honest with Delta from the start.

"Me either," Eden says, shaking her head. Sometimes she thinks she'd like kids, and other times, she's not sure it would be fair of her when she has no idea when the sand in her hourglass is going to run out. Either way, she's not ready to leap into a relationship of any kind with a little kid in the equation. That makes things way more serious than they're supposed to be. "That'd be so much pressure. And what if he can't get a babysitter? There goes the night."

Lily gives a laugh as she turns them in the direction of the restaurant, knowing even a year ago, she never would have imagined either of them in this situation or having this conversation. Eden's been a friend longer than almost anyone and there aren't many people Lily trusts more, but she's been more than that, too.

"So Luke..." she says with a smile. "You say you're not a thing, but you like him?"

Eden flounders, mouth open for a description she doesn't yet have, and shrugs. "Yeah," she says, "I do. I... I really, really like him." There aren't many people she feels she can be utterly herself around. She's always bending, twisting, even without meaning to, adapting to what others want and like. She's spent a long time getting good at making herself pleasant or, if necessary, invisible, whatever will keep her safest, and it's a habit that's hard to discard. Being herself means feeling safe, and that's a trust that, no matter how many people she loves, she can't offer wholly to most. But she's usually herself with Lily and with Luke. It's hard not to be drawn to that kind of comfort. "We just aren't really calling it anything, you know? I don't think he's really a relationship kind of guy."

"What about you?" Lily asks, because for a long time she'd certainly thought she wasn't a relationship kind of girl and although she and Delta have never officially labelled anything, she knows what they are. She knows they're together in a way she hasn't been with anyone in a very long time.

People change. Of course, some people don't and she feels both these things are entirely valid. She also trusts Eden will figure out what works for them best, but she's curious and she wonders if Eden has anyone else she's been able to talk to about this.

Again she shrugs, pulling a face. "You know, I don't know what I am," she says, wry. "I've had boyfriends before, I don't mind the label. And it's always nice at first, but... sooner or later, I always figure out they like me a whole lot more than I like them." It's not like Eden doesn't love them all in her way. She remembers them fondly, and doesn't regret the time she gave them. But she has more to give than she could give them, and she didn't see the point in wasting their time. Right now, she's not sure the same is true where Luke is concerned, but maybe it is. Maybe if they actually started dating in some nameable way, she'd get over him, too.

That's always been the case with Lily as well, especially when it comes to men. Things have always been easier with women, she's found them less inclined to worry about defining what they have with her, which she's always responded to much better than the pressure to put a name on something. But Delta's never asked that of her, which is possibly why she hasn't worried about it or thought about it very much until now.

"It's always easier when you don't need to think about it, isn't it?" she asks with a small smile.

"It is, isn't it?" Eden asks. She laughs, wistful. "I guess I want it both ways, you know? All the... intimacy and all of a relationship and no need to call it something or rush anywhere. Why can't people just enjoy it?" It just makes more sense to her. She wants to be with someone, not belong to someone.

"I feel like that's a question that could be asked about almost anything in life," Lily says with a wry grin. She's always been more inclined to just enjoy things without worrying about what someone else might think or what sort of label anyone might want to put on it.

"Delta's never asked for anything," she admits. "But I think that's because something was done to him before he arrived here and he's missing memories from a good chunk of his life. He knows things, but he has no memory of them, so it's easier. He comes into this with absolutely no expectations of what we should be doing."

Edited 2013-12-30 04:45 (UTC)

"That's — I mean, it's awful," Eden says, "but it's got to be nice, in a way. Way less pressure for both of you. I just wish people could do that with their memories intact. Other than us, anyway." Then again, isn't that exactly what she's lamenting? That Luke doesn't seem inclined to have expectations? Except that at the same time, it's endearing. She still can't get over how sweet he was on his birthday, in his own, clumsy way, and how clear it was that he's not accustomed to people doing things for him out of kindness or affection. "It sounds like he's a good fit."

Lily nods slowly, not because Delta isn't a good fit, but because Eden's right and he is. He's not sure she's ever found a good fit for her before, not in the long term. She's fit with plenty of people in her way, Eden most especially, but she's never found a relationship that's fit her before and sometimes she's still not sure if they're doing it properly or not.

If there is any proper way to do it.

"He is," she says. "Although right now he's trying to regain some of his memories, so that's been... very interesting."

"Sounds tough," Eden says, fingers brushing Lily's arm. "For both of you. How's he holding up?" It's not something she's ever had to deal with firsthand, but she imagines it can be an upsetting process to deal with. It's lucky Delta has people there for him at a time like that.

"He went sort of mute not long ago," Lily admits, frowning a little. He'd gotten it back, but it had taken time and she wonders if it's not the last time something like that happens. "When he got here, he couldn't speak, whatever they'd done to him made it impossible and he had a memory and it was like he lost the ability to speak again. It came back, but for awhile..." She shakes her head. "I was kind of worried."

"God, I can't imagine," Eden murmurs. "That's awful." It hits home, though it's not like she's ever been in the same position. It's just easy to imagine how awful it feels to be without a voice. "Do you know if he's thought about talking to anybody? Like a professional, I mean? It seems like he's been through some stuff."

"He is, yeah," Lily says and she smiles over at Eden, not at all surprised that she can be counted on to suggest the things that will likely be the most helpful. It's always been this way, Eden's always been a steadying presence in Lily's life, even when the two of them were getting into their version of trouble.

"This isn't meant to change the subject, but I just thought it," she says. "Do you remember the two of us talking about opening a club on the island? Somewhere for people to come just so they could dance?" She has no illusions about herself, she's not interested in owning a business, but if there's anyone she thinks she could manage such a task with, it would be Eden.

"Oh, man, yes," Eden says. "I'd forgotten that!" It still sounds like a fantastic idea to her. She would go out more often if she had somewhere to go where she knew she could avoid temptation. It's taken her a long time to come to terms with the fact that outright avoiding those situations isn't weaker than pushing through them, that it's the smart thing for her, but now she has, it puts a damper on her social life. Lily's one of the only people she would brave a club with.

"So had I until just now," she says, smiling. The subject had come up during a particularly memorable swim, she can understand why the memory of the conversation might have been overshadowed by other things. "I guess it's not as necessary here as it would have been on the island. There's practically a club on every second corner now." Which she loves, though she doesn't go as often as she used to. It's strange to think just how many little things in her life have changed since she met Delta.

"There isn't one really like that still, though," Eden says. "It's a shame. Not that I go out all that much." She's got other things on her plate right now, and anyway, she doesn't go alone. If she's with friends, at least she has a distraction. Being in a club alone is a recipe for trouble.

It's weird for Lily to acknowledge she doesn't go out like she used to either, but she doesn't, that's changed. When she does go out, it's most often with Eden or Nina, but even those nights have become fewer and further between. "Most often when I go out now, it's to one of those stuffy functions," she admits. "Investors to impress for hours when all I really want to do is either be out with you or Nina or just head back home. It's like they're worse in Darrow somehow."

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